In 2002 Jacqueline Kim made the mistake of emailing her unusually materialistic assessment of her date (good kisser, nice car, needs to get a haircut and shower her with presents if he wants to keep her) to a few friends outside her office – some of whom promptly forwarded it on for the delight and amusement of a large proportion of the internet community.
From: Jacqueline Kim…
Subject: The dish…
Well…Mr. Casey O’Brien showed up at my door at about 8:15ish. Sporting a pair of cute jeans, a button up and a black jacket. For his outfit I would give him about a B. As for looks, he was cute but on the shorter side and his hair was a little too long. Far from a mullet but longer than I would prefer but let’s not dwell on that because he can kinda get away with it. So for looks, I would probably give him another B. Car- BMW, like I stated before. A great car, he’ll have to get and A for that. He gets and A+ for his manners and politeness. Marcie, he opened the car door everytime! Super polite. Overall general appearance will cap at a B+.
AS for the place we went to, another “A”. The Tasting Room is an excellent date place. I was never the wine connoisseur but I’m gradually thinking I could become one. We had 4 glasses each of different white wines and a cheese flight, which was the perfect food mecca to go with the wine. Place is awesome, I recommend all of you guys to attend this place for a night out with your man/woman. We also headed over to this place called the Black Duck. Another great place! The date place itself gets an overall “A”.
By the way Girls- this summer we must hang out on Randolph, so many awesome places!
I can go into great detail of what we talked about and such but, that would make for an extremely long email.
The date ended with me getting intoxicated but not like crazy intoxicated, but I was drunk. No hangovers. I’m assuming he was fairly intoxicated but since he was driving, I didn’t want to know, so I never asked.
By the way, as for myself, I get an overall A+ for how damn cute I looked. I sported a pair of fun longer Capri pants from Guess in a darker khaki color with my white shirt from Hanger 18, that has my lower back showing with my new cute fitted black jacket with empire sleeves from Armani. I was a BABE. He didn’t stand a chance. My worries of not being cute were so swept under the rug with the outfit I pulled off last night.
Before jumping to any conclusions, YES, I stayed the night, only because I semi passed out on his couch and he was polite to ask if I wanted to head home and I just said he could take me home in the morning, NOTHING happened. Honestly only a kiss derived from this date and it didn’t even happen at his place. I believe it might have been executed at the Black Duck but I’m not so sure on the exact time and location. But can I add, GREAT kisser. The date kiss gets an “A”. Really, I haven’t had that great of a kiss since, well we won’t go there but it has been a long time. I might have to go with the fact that I might have mastered the skill of French kissing, no joke. As long as I have potential to work with, I can execute a pretty intense kiss.
Lauren- you would have loved Casey’s attitude. Actually I think all of would have appreciated how he called me out on my stupid logic of thinking. Somehow, it came up on how random it was for us to meet and shit and how when he said the very first time we talked for me to give him a call and my response was, “Really, I’ll let you know now, I won’t call you, so I suggest you write my number down and give me a call”. Hence the wait of a week or so for his first initial call was due to my shallowness or whatever you would like to call my way of playing the field. Doesn’t really matter, he still called and I didn’t.
So, question is, where do I stand on the whole outlook of Mr. Casey O’Brien and the date…The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat-which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don’t consider that really amazing, his mannerism and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but…I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won’t lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND (Oh by the way, I think he’s only 29, but still, I’m rounding up). Plus, the summer is just around the corner and guys are EVERYWHERE, I need to keep the options open and my schedule free to lock in some other great summer flings…
Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed the day in the life of Miss Jackie Kim and please feel free to comment on my date, my outfit, the kiss, or whatever else. If you need any more major details of the date please contact me in one of the following ways: phone, email, personal visit or text messaging.
Oh, I might be heading to a Cubs game with him next week. We’ll see.
Oh by the way ladies- His cute friend Brian, is single and also a day trader.
Which by the way, being a day trader is pretty money, literally in a sense but he gets to throw on lounge wear for work and is home no later than Noon.
Are you kidding me? Where was being a day trader on career day in Elementary school?
Major Gifts & Planned Giving
American Heart Association, Midwest Affiliate…
The subject of the assessment, Casey O’Brien later confirmed that this was a “pretty accurate” assessment of their evening together – and said they had even gone on a second date, until news of the increasingly infamous email terminated their budding relationship.
Meanwhile Jacqueline, who had put her office phone number as well as email contact details on the message, was inundated with enquiries from readers outraged by her singularly unromantic attitude (and near complete failure to comment on her date’s personality). Several of these correspondents claimed that they received the following standard reply:
The email that you are referring to was, indeed sent by me (along with a lot of cynicism) to my friends. I am sorry that it has been re-distributed and erroneously taken seriously so many times.
While I am sure that the email has offended you, I can assure you that your anger doesn’t equate to the feeling of being misunderstood by so many people you’ve never met. I will get over it, and hope you will to. Thanks for writing.
PS – Email is a powerful thing, I’ve learned my lesson and hope that many can learn from my mistake too. I do find it quite humorous that my original email has been rewritten by this time and does not even compare to the brief update that was originally written. I only deserve half the credit for my sarcastic email. The remaining props is rightly deserved to the many people I don’t know who have added a paragraph here and there and creatively put a spin on the original email.