A load of bollocks

The fact that the office of the building firm I work for is completely open plan is annoying when I want to take a snooze, but does present some unique opportunities for amusement.

A few weeks ago for instance, we all witnessed a young man hurrying past our desks, looking harassed, and nervous and most definitely late for the interview he was due to attend in my boss’s cubicle.

My boss sat him down, quickly flicked through his CV, which he hadn’t bothered to read before and started off: “So then Harold…”

At this point I was a bit confused, because when I’d read through the CVs and help my boss decide on the candidates, I thought this guy was called John…

“How did you get here?” asked the boss, not the most welcoming of openings, considering the candidate’s clear anxiety about his lateness (and a bit harsh considering he was only actually five minutes past the due time).

“I got a lift.”

“Can’t you drive.”

“No.”

At this point the boss flicked through the CV again, clearly seemed to spot something which contradicted this answer, frowned and said: “Well then, you’re wasting my time.”

The young man looked mortified at being humiliated in front of so many people like this, not to mention the man he had hoped would soon employ him.

Unsure of the correct etiquette and whether to stay or go (I later learned that this was his first ever interview), he just sat in stunned silence as my boss proceeded to phone the recruitment consultancy who had sent him their way – and inform them that they were all a bunch of “bollocking morons” for sending him such “a lying little bollock” with such a lot of bollocks on his CV that they really should have checked before sending him on to him. Not to mention the fact that he was clearly a “dweeb:” who would be entirely unsuited to manning diggers and building site work – even if he could drive.

It was at this point that I finally twigged. My boss had the CVs mixed up and thought he was supposed to be interviewing a site manager rather than a graduate office intern.

When I went and whispered the sorry truth to him he was so embarrassed that he offered to hire the by now utterly bemused graduate on the spot.

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1 Comment

Filed under badboss, Blogroll, Hired, office, swearing, You plonker

One response to “A load of bollocks

  1. So Many Things could go wrong in one day.

    I was initially late for work this didnt go down too well with the newly appointed team leader ( A power hungry bitch with a few old scores to settle )

    So i was roasted/humiliated for my 5 minute lateness.
    Then the phones went down, to ice the cake the computer system went down also.
    Free time we thought… so I pulled out My MP3 got on with surfing the net…

    The Team leader then deceided it would be better for us all to be doing menial admin tasks normally reserved for temps and belive it or not admin staff… The team leader then said it wasnt appropriate for me to listening to my MP3 – I pointed out that the phones were down so it could interupt anyone or my work. She then proceeded to drag me by the arm (I still to this day dont know why I didnt put a claim in) drag me into a side room & then laughed the prior physical abuse off with some nice quiet banter and reasoning about not undermining her authority. Then I said I was still going to listen to the MP3 player, Team leader then went and got the office manager ( a stern faced woan with little to no sense of humor) she point blank said that I was not supposed to be using the MP3 in works time – Meeting over & that any personal electrical equiptment including mobile phones should be switched off & not in use – meeting over & back to my desk.

    5 minutes later the office manager comes to the team leader (who incidentally sits next to me) she says less than 5 words before my phone rings out from my desk top, to boot my ring tone was set to a very offensive song about bestiality. For furhter details see Blink 182. I could have died, needless to say the rest of the office saw, heard & laughed this at my expense..

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